Jewish Journal

BY LANA SCHWARTZ Mark Schiff, Jerry Seinfeld’s longtime opening act, brings tefillin on tour June 23, 2023 Original article here Mark Schiff has been opening for Jerry Seinfeld on tour for 25 years, and along the way, he has brought his tefillin. Schiff said he tries to stay as observant as he can on the road, participating in Shabbat services either …

USA Today Opinion Piece

   Father’s Day 2023: Embrace the journey, dads — and those ties, too | Opinion USA Today June 16, 2023 By Mark Schiff See original article here God opens up the Bible with “Be fruitful and multiply.” Adam translated it to “Eat fruit and multiply” but that decision cost him. What it means is that it is a parent’s commandment …

Never Talk While Eating Fish

I’m an only child so I was the whole ball of wax. In many ways, I was my parents’ life. My parents tried to have more children but couldn’t, but I was never privy to why they couldn’t.  My mother was a very nervous woman. Asking her why she was so nervous made her even more nervous. She’d often say …

The Story That Moved Me to Write

I didn’t think I wanted to be a weekly columnist until I read a column by comedian Mark Schiff. I’ve never told him this, but I’ll tell him now. In August 2006, I had just moved with my kids to the Pico-Robertson neighborhood when, on a whim, I decided to write a column about our new life in this very …

Great Catch, Champ

For the past few months, I’ve had the pleasure of watching my neighbor Aaron teach his kids how to catch a ball. When a father is playing catch with his son or daughter, there are few things in life that bring more happiness. It’s total enjoyment to the max. It’s amazing to see the smile on a child’s face when …

What’s All the Complaining About?

A waiter comes over to a table where old Jewish women are seated and says, “Excuse me, ladies. Is anything all right?” Jews have a history of complaining. They complained to Moses about not having bread, meat or water. But complaining isn’t always a bad thing. If we complain to our politicians, that’s sometimes a good thing. Complaining to your …

Here Comes the Judge

Everyone hates to be judged, yet most of us do it.  Hillel wrote in “Ethics of Our Fathers”: “Do not judge your fellow, until you have reached his or her place.”   My cousin Sarah recently died five days short of her 34th birthday. She left behind a 12-year-old son, the father of the boy, and her divorced mother and father. …

The Nearness of You

A few weeks ago I was at the  funeral of a good friend. His wife and three children got up and spoke about their husband and father. It was a truly beautiful and moving event. They spoke of how much he meant to them and how he was a friend to all who met him. They spoke of his unwavering support …

Oy Vey Iz Mir I’m Getting Old

I have a friend who told me he takes three pills a day to help him increase his saliva. His doctor said that as you get older, sometimes your saliva dries up. Nice; something new to worry about as I age — a saliva shortage.  My next birthday is big one. I pray I still have enough saliva to masticate …

Proof That There’s a God? I’m Still Married

“Before a man gets married, he is incomplete. After he’s married, he’s completely finished.” — Borscht Belt comedian The fact that I got married and have stayed married is proof there is a God. When I asked my rabbi what God was doing these days, he said, “arranging marriages.” He also said that arranging marriages is harder than splitting the …